Friday, October 22, 2010

On the Waters of Sorrow

For my birthday my mother got me a book titled COME AWAY My Beloved by Frances J. Roberts. It is a sweet book of short devotionals that are really encouraging and a reminder to experience the Lord's all-sufficient care and provision. As I have been reading something new every morning, I desire to share it with you. Here is one I read yesterday (the bold words are my added emphasis)...

On the Waters of Sorrow
But as it is written: "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered in the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." I Corinthians 2:9

O My child, I am coming to you walking on the waters of the sorrows of your life; 
yes, above the sounds of the storm you shall hear my voice call your name.

You are never alone, for I am at your right hand. Never despair, for I am watching 
over and caring for you. Be not anxious. What seems to you to be at present a 
difficult situation is all part of My planning, and I am working out the details of 
circumstances so that I may bless you and reveal Myself to you in a new way.

As I have opened your eyes to see, so shall I open your ears to hear,
and you shall come to know Me even as Moses did, yes, in a face-to-face relationship
For I will remove the veil that separates Me from you, and you will know 
Me as your dearest friend and as your truest Comforter.

No darkness will hide the shining of My face, for I shall be to you as a bright star 
in the night sky. Never let your faith waver. Reach out your hand, 
and you shall touch the hem of My garment.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

These past four weeks have flown by! I can’t believe our time in Dayton is coming to an end this Saturday. It seems like we just got here. I’m actually kind of thankful for this. I certainly LOVE being here with my family and visiting friends and I’m trying to not wish this time away, but this just means we are even closer to having this baby (good Lord’s willing)!

Here’s what’s been going on with us (if you’re interested):

• I’ve been keeping busy by helping my mom plan a fundraiser for a local non-profit where she volunteers (The Life Enrichment Center).
• Josh has had long hours with this surgery rotation and I’m looking forward to him being on internal med next which should hopefully be better hours.
• Josh had his first residency interview in Grand Rapids at Devos Children’s Hospital, he thinks it went really well. He loved the program and all of the people he met there. He still has quite a few interviews to go to, so we are praying hard for the Lord to continue His good works in Josh and trusting Him placing us in the right residency program. As scary as the unknown is we are excited for this time in our med-school chapter.
• As far as my pregnancy goes, I’ve been feeling pretty good. My hips of course are sore and I’ve been pretty tired because sleep has been an issue but physically I’ve been feeling pretty good, I’m very thankful for this. You know, I love being pregnant but I feel like I’ve already put my time in for being pregnant.
• In terms of how I’m feeling emotionally, that just depends on the day you ask me. Today…not to good. I was listening to a song (Matt Kearney’s song “Closer to Love” I guess we’re all one phone call from our knees). Every time I hear this line it reminds me of how Josh had to call both of our parents to tell them we lost Leyton. I hate that he had to do that. I don’t know why it really hit me this afternoon but it did. I really should have a separate post about the emotions and feelings that seem to be surfacing but that would mean I would have to really confront them and I don’t know if I want to go there.
• Tomorrow my grandmother is hosting a luncheon for me with some of my great aunts and cousins, and when my grandmother does something, she goes all out. I’m really looking forward the luncheon, it should be a really nice time.

I think that’s about all that is new with us Glupkers. I know I’ve been saying this, but I will post about the feelings that are re-surfacing. Everything is jumbled and unorganized in my head at the moment. Once I get things in writing I know it will help me process. Thanks for listening.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

27th Birthday Recap

First, I want to thank everyone who was thinking of me yesterday on my 27th birthday (ahhh! I still can't believe I'm 27!). I really appreciate all of the calls, texts, fb messages, etc. I feel so blessed and loved by everyone's thoughtfulness. Sorry if I wasn't able to answer your calls, I will certainly do my best to call you back this week.

This year my birthday was not on my radar. I love making a big deal out of birthdays but this year all I can really think about is this baby and that we only have about 6 weeks left until we can meet him good Lord's willing.

I ended up having a really nice day with the majority of it I spent by myself, but I actually really liked that. My morning was pretty chill. Josh had flowers delivered to my parent's house for me but the note said, "Love you Mommy! Love, Leyton and baby". I'm pretty sure I cried for a good 20 minutes. My husband never ceases to amaze me with his thoughtfulness and love. This also reminded me that I hadn't yet been up to visit Leyton's grave site. I went up to visit him and right when I got there I got a bug bite on my arm and right between my eyes. So I wasn't there for too long but Josh and I are going to go back and bring Leyton a pumpkin.

Embarrassed by my bug bite, I was a little delayed in my Starbucks, Sephora, and shopping plans. But after about 45 minutes the swelling went down and with encouragement from my Aunt Toni, I went shopping. But when I got there I realized I hadn't eaten anything for lunch and I was hungry. I didn't really want to eat my emergency healthy nut mix that I always keep on hand and I didn't want to go anywhere and eat by myself, so I figured since I skipped getting my pumpkin spice latte I could quick run into Cheryl & Co. and grab a cookie...or two. I figured that's an ok birthday lunch.

After shopping (which by they way I have officially begun Christmas shopping, already found a gift for my niece Kate) I was able to grab a quick nap before dinner at PF Changes. After an amazing dinner Josh, my brother, his girlfriend Shelly, and I headed back to my parent's house to carve pumpkins. Marc carved Nola into his pumpkin and Shelly carved her dog Tibby. They turned out pretty cute. Shelly has better pictures of the finished products lit up outside but here are a couple...

 Josh and I shared a pumpkin. Nothing too creative but I really like how the 
monogrammed G turned out.
Josh and Marc knew when the automatic timer was going off but they 
elected to have their faces look like that.

Thanks again to everyone who helped make my birthday incredibly special. I'm looking forward to learning more about the Lord this year, continuing to trust in His promises, and seeing what He has in store for me.

Oh, and happy birthday to everyone who celebrated their birthday this week. I hear this is a pretty popular week for birthdays because if you go back nine months you hit New Year's.   =)

Monday, October 4, 2010

my flesh fails

Josh didn't have to be at work this morning until 6am (as opposed to 4:30 or 5am) but after he left I just couldn't get back to sleep. I have so many things flying through my crazy head that just for one day I'd like to turn my brain off and enjoy what I have right before me and not be thinking and trying to plan my life out until Josh graduates in May of 2011.

And of course the Holy Spirit reminds me of... "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord...(Jeremiah 29:11)

I know through many of my life's experiences (some not so hard and some almost unbearable) that plans change. So why am I going through all of this trouble of trying to plan my life when I clearly know plans change?

Because I'm human. Because I'm a worrier, I like to have a plan, and I like to be in control (can't you hear the Janet Jackson song "Control" in the background?).

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all of these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow...(Matthew 6:25, 33-34)

I've read these verses hundreds of times. I've encouraged others with these verses. But yet my flesh fails, again. This is a daily battle. Every morning I wake up I must give the Lord everything I am trying to carry on my own.

Isn't it wonderful that He asks us to give Him our burdens and He wants to carry them for us?

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

I'm still praying through a lot of different emotions and feelings I'm having as my pregnancy is progressing. I want to share what the Lord has been teaching me and I will soon. Thankful the Lord cares so much for my heart and thankful for the many people who have been praying for Josh, me, and our baby. I feel like I haven't expressed how much I appreciate those prayers, so please know how truly thankful and blessed I am by them. Thankful to be a part of the body of Christ.

I know this is kind of just ramblings this morning but my brain is a little foggy from waking up just shortly after 5am. Hopefully I'll be able to take a little nap today.

Happy Monday!

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