It was a year ago today that our son Leyton went to be with the Lord. It doesn't quite seem right to say today is or would have been his birthday. I like to say that Leyton has been with the Lord for a year.
Not just today but this whole weekend holds a lot of significance for us. It was late night Friday July 10, 2009 that we found out we lost him and the next day the 11th was my c-section. But the 11th is the day we have chosen to remember him and celebrate the 9 months we had with him.
Today was actually an okay day for Josh and I. We weren't quite sure what to do or what to expect so we just decided to be together. We had been thinking about this day for quite some time and maybe
because we had been bracing ourselves for it made it not as difficult.
Of course we still have difficult days but I'm thankful that today was
an okay day. I also received an email from a friend who reminded me of God's promises and His faithfulness and encouraged me to rejoice in the Lord because that is what my son would want me to do. Thank you so much Christie for those encouraging words, they really helped me to change my perspective on this whole weekend.
So we went to the early serice at church and the worship time was amazing. We both believe the Lord had those songs chosen specifically for us. The service was good but we were so thankful we were able to spend time in worship together. After church we kind of had a normal day... chores around the house, lunch at Wegmans, we ran a few errands, and then back home so Josh could do a little bit of studying and I took a nap. After dinner at home we went to Presque Isle which we thought we could spend a quiet evening of reading and being together (and we wanted to go there because we thought Leyton would have loved the beach). But it turned out to be not what we had expected. There was the Drum in the Sun club, about 30 plus people banging in bongos and other instruments doing the limbo and dancing around, and there was also a hula hoop club. Totally random but really fun to watch, probably some of the best people watching we've done so far here in Erie. I'll have to post some of the pictures I took. Even though we didn't have the quiet time like we thought we were still glad we went.
A year ago I'm not sure I would have believed that I could ever truly be joyful or feel the Lord's peace and presence in our lives. I thank the Lord so much for the grace He has given us this year. We have seen Him work and do many good things in our life this year and it is only by His grace. Though grace isn't something that we can physically hold on to, I truly feel His grace every day in my life.
And I know I said I'd start blogging again a couple of months ago but this time I mean it. I want to share what the Lord has been teaching me through this loss and also keep our family and friends up to date on what's happening in our lives. I'm sure you saw the name change of our blog from "Becoming The Glupkers" to "Marked by Love". I just felt like the season of "Becoming the Glupkers" had passed (a while ago) and it is time to start a new chapter. But I've kept the same url, hope that's not too confusing.
Thank you again to everyone in our lives who have been faithful to pray for Josh and I and who have walked this long road with us. Words can't express how blessed and loved we feel by each and everyone of you. And if you called or texted today thank you so much for thinking of us and remembering our sweet Leyton. I'm sorry if I did not answer or respond, I just wasn't quite up for talking today.
Oh friend, I am so glad you are blogging again and what a sweet, honest entry about the one year anniv. of Leyton. I am so thankful the day was "okay". I had to smile too at the "show" you saw when you were planning for a quiet night....maybe God's way of giving you a distraction. :) Love you and claiming the hope and peace of Jesus for you!
ReplyDeleteJenny
So thankful you are blogging again. I admire your amazing faithfulness Buff. So thankful to serve such an incredible heavenly Father! He alone has given you and Josh the strength to find the joy in today. I truly love and admire my dear friend. Leyton and his brother truly have and amazing mommy! Can't wait to keep up with you on here again! Love you so much!
ReplyDeleteOh Buff...it's sooooo good to read your heart again. Thanks for sharing it. I love you and pray constantly that God vividly show you His love and goodness. Amy
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that yesterday was a beautiful day for y'all. I like to think of Leyton dancing and running around with Jesus and I think it'll be pretty awesome to see that one day:).
ReplyDeleteLove you friend.
I love the new look of the blog - great job!
ReplyDeleteI love you guys so much. Bethany, it blesses my heart to read your words. I'm so honored to be your sister, and I'm privileged to also be your sister in Christ. Yesterday I wept at your loss. Today I will rejoice in what amazing work the Lord is doing in your heart.
Thinking of you always and praying for you both. You have done such a great job on your blog. Can't wait to read more. We had a great time at the Belcastro homestead last week but I was missing my girls being there and hanging out like old times. We'll have to plan a Olive Garden night soon! I love you and I am so amazed at the strength the Lord has given you both over this year. hugs and kisses!!!
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