This past week I have been an emotional roller coaster. I'm pretty sure it's mostly because of my crazy pregnant hormones. It's like one minute I'm happy and feeling good and then *snap* I'm a crazy person. I can't figure out why I'm down, why I'm sad, why I'm crying, why I can't make a decision or complete a thought to save my life. And I feel so bad for Josh that he has to live with me while I'm like this. I truly have spent a lot of time praying about my attitude, asking the Lord for some serious help.
I'm pretty sure most of this craziness is attributed to my hormones because most of the time I can't figure out what the problem is. The other is probably because I've been trying to find a time when I can go visit my friend Libby in VA who has cancer and we haven't been able to coordinate our schedules and my window for traveling is closing soon. I'm just really struggling with the fact that she has to go through so much and I feel like a bad friend for not being able to visit her. Of course I'm praying for her every day and thinking about her all the time, I just wish I could do more, you know?
I also realized earlier this week that I hadn't really talked with my mother in a while. I mean we've chatted briefly on the phone but not a real conversation. She called earlier this week and was so great to just listen to me while we (I) talked for over an hour. The amazing and wise woman that she is reminded me that my hormones are not what's true about me. She told me when I start feeling down to remember truth. I have an amazing husband (who has been nothing but accommodating and comforting to me during my craziness) who loves me and who has worked so hard all throughout med-school and works hard to take care of our family. And also remember who I am in Christ. I am a precious daughter of the King who cares for me and whose love for me is endless. I also remind myself that I have seen God's grace in my life every day as He has been so faithful to meet every single one of my needs (physical and emotional).
After talking with my mother, remembering these truths (plus many others), a good night's rest, and after a great night at girls' group I'm actually feeling a bit normal. We're also going out of town tomorrow morning to visit Josh's family in MI and I'm sure that will help too, being with family always helps.
Proof that we GOTTA start the thankful list!!! <3 Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate and admire your ability to be so transparent in your blogs! Thanks for sharing this story at girls group and making the rest of us feel normal!! :) Enjoy your time in Mich!
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling better this week Bethany! Just like life has it's ups and downs, sometimes we just feel a little down or different than usual. Thank the Lord that we have supports like our GG and you have your mother to remind you that the Lord loves you no matter how you feel :)
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