Monday, October 4, 2010

my flesh fails

Josh didn't have to be at work this morning until 6am (as opposed to 4:30 or 5am) but after he left I just couldn't get back to sleep. I have so many things flying through my crazy head that just for one day I'd like to turn my brain off and enjoy what I have right before me and not be thinking and trying to plan my life out until Josh graduates in May of 2011.

And of course the Holy Spirit reminds me of... "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord...(Jeremiah 29:11)

I know through many of my life's experiences (some not so hard and some almost unbearable) that plans change. So why am I going through all of this trouble of trying to plan my life when I clearly know plans change?

Because I'm human. Because I'm a worrier, I like to have a plan, and I like to be in control (can't you hear the Janet Jackson song "Control" in the background?).

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all of these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow...(Matthew 6:25, 33-34)

I've read these verses hundreds of times. I've encouraged others with these verses. But yet my flesh fails, again. This is a daily battle. Every morning I wake up I must give the Lord everything I am trying to carry on my own.

Isn't it wonderful that He asks us to give Him our burdens and He wants to carry them for us?

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

I'm still praying through a lot of different emotions and feelings I'm having as my pregnancy is progressing. I want to share what the Lord has been teaching me and I will soon. Thankful the Lord cares so much for my heart and thankful for the many people who have been praying for Josh, me, and our baby. I feel like I haven't expressed how much I appreciate those prayers, so please know how truly thankful and blessed I am by them. Thankful to be a part of the body of Christ.

I know this is kind of just ramblings this morning but my brain is a little foggy from waking up just shortly after 5am. Hopefully I'll be able to take a little nap today.

Happy Monday!


  1. I hope you are taking a nap right now:) Love you & miss you!

  2. Sweet Buff,

    I'm reading "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow (and recommend it!).

    Page 30 reads (referring to Philippians 4:8): We are to practice substituting prayer for worry, the positive for the negative -- and the God of peace will be with us. For the second time in this passage we see that the peace of God follows a choice to obey. This was Paul's process, the path he walked in order to learn contentment..."I have learned to be content in all circumstances."

    Praying that your mind will calm down...


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